Road Trip
by Lionel Nixon
Summary: A Father/Sons bonding trip with the Wayne household. . . What could go wrong? (One-shot)


**Can't be serious all the time right?**

 **TT**

"I told you guys once I came back from the mission in Afghanistan, we'd spend some family time together," Billionaire, Bruce Wayne told his surrogate sons.

". . . We didn't ask for family time," Tim Drake said blankly. They all stood at small, black car outside Wayne Manor.

"I think it's a good idea," Dick Grayson added.

"Yeah, because we all care what you think," Jason Todd scoffed. Damian chuckled quietly, but scowled when Jason looked at him.

"We're going to the hotel for a father/sons bonding day," Bruce told them. Dick and Jason looked at each other, then the passenger seat, and back to each other. They both raced for it.

Dick reached it first, licked his hand, and touched the handle.

"Ha! Winner right here!" He taunted.

"You know, I'd like to think you were the oldest," Bruce sighed. The other three piled into the back three seats.

"Can't we take the limo, and the chauffeur?" Tim groaned.

"And miss the fun all the fun of the road trip?" Bruce forced a chuckle. "Okay, fine, this was all Alfred's idea."

Bruce was on the road soon, and the tension was high. No one had anything to talk about.

"Hey, Bruce, have you ever played baseball?" Dick asked.

"Baseball? No. Why?"

"No reason. I just always assumed you were the "Bat"-ter," Dick guffawed.

"That joke literally caused me physical pain," Damian sighed.

"That just came to my head," Dick chuckled.

"We can tell," Jason rolled his eyes.

"Look, Alfred's going to ask us how the trip was, so we have to tolerate Dick's terrible jokes," Bruce explained.

"I'm glad you aren't "Robin" me of the opportunity to tell jokes," Dick grinned goofily. Everyone groaned irritably at the poor comedy.

Long moments later, Dick finally got the message that they weren't fans of his comedy. He grew bored quite fast.

"Are we there yet?" Dick asked.

"Yeah, the hotel is behind thirty acres of trees," Jason responded sardonically.

"Kori just asked me if an earth bikini is appropriate . . ." Dick grinned eagerly. Everyone turned their attention to him.

"Don't tell Babs," his throat dried up.

"Don't touch me," Damian told Jason harshly.

"It was an accident, brat," he retorted.

"Well, is this?" Damian plucked him on the head.

"No, but this isn't," Jason punched his arm painfully. They went back and forth, until they were both fighting in the confined space.

"Hey! You two quit that horseplay!" Dick tried sounding authoritative.

"Shut it, Grayson," Jason and Damian said concurrently.

"Stop fighting, both of you," Bruce told them sternly. They both calmed down, but not much.

"Hey, Tim, who do you think would win a fight between them?" Dick simpered.

"Hmm, good question. Well, Jason has the size advantage, but Damian is pretty scrappy," Tim and Dick both chuckled.

Jason and Damian glared at each other, as if they were waiting for the bell, and the referee.

"Stop antagonizing," Bruce told them.

"Come on, Bruce, you seriously wouldn't want to see them duke it out?"

 **TT**

Bruce opened the door to the hotel room they'd be staying in. It was noticeably large. It had a bed in the main living area, and a bedroom with two more beds. It was a bathroom with a Jacuzzi in it as well.

"I'm in your will, right?" Dick asked as he stared at the view they had.

"Dude, is that the best thing to say to the guy who risks his life every night?" Tim asked.

"Just making sure . . ."

"There is the bed out here, and the two in there, and a sofa," Bruce said. "But someone's going to have to share something."

"Who?" Dick asked frantically.

"I'll take the sofa," Tim said quickly.

"I'll take the bed out here," Bruce decided.

"I want my own bed," Dick said.

"You'll probably have to share with Damian."

"He always kicks," Dick complained.

"The guy trained in the League of Assassins kicks in his sleep, big surprise," Tim laughed.

"Jason and Damian won't work," Bruce told him.

"Fine," Dick huffed. "Can't you two just get along? That's all I'm asking! That and a good night's rest!"

Dick stormed into the bedroom.

"All I'm asking!" A voice yelled from the room.

"Uh, let's hit the pool," Tim suggested.

 **TT**

All adorned in swim trunks, the family made their way down to the luxurious indoor pool. Jason swiftly broke away, and headed towards the water fountain.

He proceeded to cut in front of a man, and drink.

"Excuse you," the burly man said in a deep voice. A blonde lady stood beside him.

"Yeah, whatever."

"You just going to take that, babe?" The girl asked.

"No I'm not."

 **TT**

"Nice job, Jason, you got us kicked out of the hotel," Dick sighed.

"He swung first," He shrugged.

"Did you really have to go full Nelson? Half was more than enough!" Dick said exasperatedly.

Bruce got out of the car that he pulled up.

"Alfred wanted a picture for the scrapbook so everyone together," he told them.

They all sighed and got together.

"Say 'we aren't doing this again next year'."

 **TT**

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